The post-it reads ‘Why do people not understand? That we can troubleshoot.’

The operating room is a very technical place.

There are a lot of moving parts to a surgery.

The electrocautery.

The bed.

The robot, if we are using one.

The SCD machine.

The tourniquet.

The spot lights.

They are depend on nurses and techs to know how to use them.

And to figure out why they are not working if they fail.

Sometimes it is as easy as turning off the machine.

Waiting.

And then turning it back on.

And re-setting the settings.

And it works.

This is only sometimes.

Sometimes we have to replace all the links in the chain before we open up another disposable.

For example, the TPS.

Or drill system.

There are 3 moving parts.

A console.

The electrical cord.

The hand piece.

The short may be in any one of these.

Rarely it is in all 3.

You start with the easily replacable.

The console.

No dice.

Still unfunctioning.

Another set it opened.

Still nothing.

But instead of opening a third set, test each of the sterile components.

Ah, it was the cord.

Use the new cord from the second set.

Mark the original cord.

Go on with your case.

You have to be systematic though.

I know it is not easy when a surgeon is screaming.

Or anesthesia is making noises about length of time under anesthesia.

You know what doesn’t help?

Putting us on the defensive, surgeon.

Instead of railing on the SPD department.

And you know who you are.

Instead of railing on the operating room.

Again, you know who you are.

Have a little bit of faith that your circulator can figure it out.

Or, at lease, phone a friend.

Trouble shooting is in the circulator’s blood.

Let them think a minute, as they are replacing things.

The CDC dropped the mask mandate today.

Of course they did.

Because cases are down.

This is the end of the surge.

Not the end of Covid.

Don’t you know?

Of course, political pressure was up.

And pressure from parents.

And pressure from people who don’t UNDERTAND.

Because they are tired of this shit.

No doubt about it.

I’m tired of this crap too.

Omicron remains the highest infector of the country.

But.

But 1 in 5 or 20% of cases are BA.2.

That number is climbing.

Rapidly.

Do I know that son of Omicron, as some are calling it, is more dangerous that Omicron itself.

Science doesn’t know yet.

But don’t worry.

We have not won.

The mask mandates have fallen.

In my state, they will be dropped as of Sunday.

Not that people are wearing masks.

I am.

You’d think more people would be more interested in the greater good.

Instead they whine about going back to normal.

There is no normal.

Two Party Opera, an online comic that I read, said it best, “Is it true that Pandemics never really end, people just stop caring?”

And the next panel the other figure says, “Time makes it easy to ignore why people die.”

Yes.

All of this.

2000+ people a day are still dying.

Be sure to tell them they don’t need to wear a mask in the casket.

Today would have been my grandmother’s birthday.

Both of them.

In remembrance of them, the family does their favorite thing.

Read.

I remembrance of them, the family eats their favorite foods.

Pringles, Coke, and usually pork rinds.

But there are no non spicy pork rinds to be had.

Stupid supply chain.

Stupid renovation at the closest gas station.

Although neither of these women were in the health care field, I find it comforting to remember them.

Because we are reflections of who has come before.

I like to think that although they would be flummoxed by me going to a PhD program, they would be supportive of me.

In their quiet ways.

If you need me, I’ll be reading an actual book.

Eating Pringles and chocolate.

Drinking a coke.

Enjoying my day off .

Because although this is new to me, is fast becoming a day of rest.

The request was Kalhua.

The other request was the same cheddar pennies from before.

With triple pepper jelly.

The second batch was with red pepper flakes.

A little heat for this cold and rainy February day.

Of course, this is North Carolina, wait 15 minutes.

The sun will come out.

I am too sad to do a different cookie today.

A meme that I saw described it best ‘One man’s ego leads to war’.

I saw it in the midst of my doom scrolling about Ukraine.

War.

Again.

Too tired to make up a different cookie recipe.

I should have gone with the Kahlua request.

There is a lot regarding going back to school for your PhD that I did not go through with my BSN or MSN.

It can be exhausting.

And then I listen to a webinar about a nurse who is newly retired and what she loves most about the operating room.

I wonder if I can reach out to her and have her reassure me monthly during this process.

I got an interview at one of the 2 universities that have a PhD program that I am interested in!

Yay!

The university is an hour and a half away, and I am opting for a zoom interview so as not to waste gas.

The 2nd university I instructed to reach out to a 4th PhD nurse that I know because of volunteering with his organization.

He is willing to write the missing recommendation. I hope to hear more soon.

I don’t know about this place because the reviewer has glommed onto something completely normal.

In California, anyway.

He is looking at the transcript from the school where I got my ADN.

And noticed that the bottom says there are 5 UC (meaning University of California) credits.

And 52 CSU (California State University).

Means that of the 57 credit hours I took for my ADN.

That many would transfer to a higher level of school.

Because Napa Valley College is a community college.

At the time I did not conceive of writing textbooks.

Or teaching.

In fact it took nearly 15 years for me to go back to school for my BSN.

I can understand the need to be choosey when it comes to candidates.

A PhD is, as was pointed out, a terminal degree.

Meaning there is no further degrees to get.

I hope I am doing the write thing.

Do you see what I did there?

Today someone pointed out that every day is a palindrome.

And will be for the next nine days.

That is the same forward and backwards.

My sister is catering a wedding tomorrow at 2 pm on 2-22-22.

Superstitions.

All nurses have them.

The full moon effect.

Is absolutely a thing and I am lucky that last week’s full moon did not impact the OR for once.

The thing about the full moon is it brings out the crazies.

The drug dealers, the addicts, the patients with the psychoactive disorders, the ones who should absolutely know better.

But they don’t.

They bay at the moon.

And Murphy.

Murphy lives in the OR you know.

Anything that can go wrong will.

Absolutely he lives in the OR.

There are all sorts of superstitions.

Don’t jump on a crack, you’ll break your mother’s back

There are cracks in the OR floor but it is correctly quickly because cracks are not clean.

You shouldn’t walk under a ladder.

No ladders except those carried in and out by engineering.

No black cats.

Some of the best cats I’ve met are black ones.

It is not their fault.

But the big daddy of hospital superstitions.

Friday the 13th.

People actively try to give their call away most days.

But they try extra hard on Friday the 13th.

And if the full moon happens to hit on the 13th.

Count your blessings, and sage the hospital.

Because shit is going down this night.

The post-it note reads ‘Gah! Why can’t they give all paperwork to me for editing?’

This puts me in mind of the sign they had posted at the orthopedic hospital.

It read “Authorized personal only”.

It struck me differently every day.

Some days, it amused.

Some days, it made me incandescent with rage.

I know the word they were striving for was personnel.

I’m not sure who put this up, but they should’ve consulted me.

If not me then someone with a proofreading brain.

Because this still, over ten years later, makes me mad when I think of it.

Signage should be in the realm of professional writing.

All signs that patients are in the position to read must be proofread.

I bet that someone who is not dressed out tried to gain access to the OR from these doors.

But, come on!

You couldn’t show the sign around before you, you know, mounted it?

By then, it was too late.

A bit of the Emperor has no clothes.

Either no one noticed.

Or no one wanted to say anything.

Either can be true.

I cannot be alone in noticing this.

I wonder if they finally changed it when they renovated the space.

I must inquire.

That is not what the note was referring to.

This has come up multiple times.

My boss just hands me stuff to proofread now.

Got to put my copy editing, and tutoring to good use.

The news is falling all over itself that covid cases are on a steep decline.

And deaths are on a less steep decline.

Now what?

How do we un-mobilize people who we mobilized when we needed them?

And who is to say that Covid is vanquished?

As a society, we thought the same in late Spring 2021.

With the advent of widely available vaccines.

Who would have thought that there’d be people who would cut off their nose to spite their face?

Who would not have a life saving vaccine in the midst of a global health pandemic?

Um, everyone.

People who say that it’s like a bad cold.

As they are gasping for breath.

And relying on shoddy sham products like Ivermectin.

And, let us not forget, dying.

It’s just a bad cold.

Keep telling yourself that.

I still hear that sentiment from people who should know better.

Before Delta.

I personally thought the covid emergency was waning in summer of 2021.

And then Delta roared in.

Then the shared governance council had an entirely planned symposium.

That we had to cancel.

Because the people who needed the message the most, were working at bedside, or ED.

And would be unable to attend.

And as Delta was waning, and nothing was on the horizon, the symposium was planned again.

And Omicron raised its thorny head.

And we’ve been living in an Omicron nightmare for 2 months.

Now that the case volumes are going down.

And death are going down, kind of.

I am supposed to drop my mask and live life to the fullest?

It’s going to take more than a drop in case numbers and the subsequent forgetting of the last two years because it is easier for some people.

I’ll keep my mask, thank you.

Because now there is subvariant ba.2.

I am watching this one closely.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me thrice, shame on me.

Am I hopeful?

Yes.

But hopeful with a grain of salt.

And not the kind in margaritas.

And cheese month continues.

Cream cheese is a type of cheese in my head.

I wanted to continue the savory cookies.

But I could not find a savory cream cheese cookie.

Instead I adapted another recipe and baked the dough.

These are not very exciting.

I did not add anything different.

I could have used a different flavoring.

And made these cookies into something they are not.

I think a more robust flavoring like lemon or peppermint would have made an edible cookie.

Instead I added vanilla.

Because sometimes middle of the road lets the cookie shine.

These are tender cookies.

Almost melt in your mouth.

Two PhD applications are submitted.

Waiting for letters of recommendation is like watching paint dry.

And don’t get me started on colleges who DO NOT join the transcript clearing house.

Because some don’t.

You have to go to their website.

Somehow remember your account number and password.

Log in.

And chose to have transcripts sent places.

Two universities, two sets of authorized transcripts.

Thank goodness the prices have come down.

I had three separate sent.

2 to universities.

1 to me.

In case they asked for unofficial transcripts.

Which 1 did.

And now I wait.

For people to recommend me for enrollment.

That’s not an easy ask for a shy person.

Um, hi, you don’t know me but I see you have a PhD.

And are a nurse.

Recommend me maybe.