Hubris, it’s a thing

I got a C in a class.

I’m not sure how to react.

This has never happened to me before.

The class was very hard, with a lot of moving parts that I frankly had no time for.

So, I deserved the C.

Which has never happened before.

But a C in masters land is not passing.

It kicked me out of the program.

The good news is I can go back on the next class cycle.

Which doesn’t start until January.

I’m still a bit overwhelmed.

And ashamed.

And not sure how to fill the four months off, one of which I’ve squandered on 55 hour work weeks.


Yet another school post

I’m floundering a bit in school. It’s not that I am drowning in the work. It’s that I am drowning in my own apathy. I know that I should be doing homework before the day it’s due. But I can’t seem to care.

That is unfair to me.

It’s not that I don’t care.

It’s that I’ve only got so much energy a day and sometimes I want to relax and not think about work or school or call.

Saturday I worked 10 hours. The rest of the time I slept and did some much needed household chores.

Thankfully, next week I only have one meeting and that’s on Monday.

Of course, there is also the annual school drive to plan and I can’t get anyone else excited about it. And some of our coworkers depend on it.

Plan for the week ahead

Sunday: rest and relax and finish bookclub book. Do reading for this week. done with this

Monday: up at 0600- work on homework for this week, 0830 leave for my four hour meeting 1 hour away, 1430 or whenever I get done work my usual shift. Work on homework.

Tuesday: up at 0800, library for books that I don’t have time to read, homework until time to work. Set up parameters for school drive. Work at 1430. Turn in half of homework.

Wednesday: up at 0600, turn in homework by noon, nap before work at 1430

Thursday: response to discussion post from my classmate. Work and bookclub.

Friday: begin work on next week’s homework. Work.

Saturday/Sunday: no call. yay.

The only way out is through. The only way out is through. The only way out is through.

Nice way to show your ass, doctor

I had a surgeon become absolutely unglued yesterday. Not at me, or not just at me.

The problem, as he perceived it: the transporter was late bringing down his patient.

His solution: not offer to go get the patient with me, no, never that. But instead to call the supervisor up and browbeat and threaten to call the VP of the hospital.

The Situation:

Arrived at hospital at 0901 for 1000 case.

0907: Called to the floor for report, was given the report. Nurse said she was going to ask anesthesia about giving him some medication.

I gave her the number, and went to pick case.

0915: put in for transport.

Went to open case and prepare room.

0940: am standing in pre-op waiting for patient. Surgeon shows up and blows his stack that the patient wasn’t yet down from the floor.

0941: surgeon calls supervisor and threatens and blames and generally raises hell.

0947: patient arrives in pre-op. I then get him ready.

0955: we roll back with the patient to do case.

As I find out later when I called the supervisor to explain. She is my hero: go ahead and call the VP.

How many guesses do I get that I will be asked to explain on Monday?

Sorry for the 2 week hiatus, clinicals and work and opening a new OR means 16 hour days for me.

Upon the opening of a new OR

Lesson learned the last eight weeks.

Hard lesson.

Upon the opening of a new OR planned for June, life is a little like “If you give a mouse a cookie.” If you plan to open an OR, you have to make sure you have all the furniture ordered early, and once the furniture is in the small details have to be worked out, glove boxes, desk placement, etc. And once the small details have been worked out the OR is opened for business. But there are still a hundred and one details to work out.

The requirements on my time went through the roof. And I wasn’t super involved in the planning or the buying of things. But the organization of the room and the cabinets? That has me written all over it. And then the reorganization of the equipment pieces in lines that I know aren’t going to last a day. And then the reorganization of the former occupants of the supply room that was currently the new OR.

And the 75 hours of self scheduled clinical to be done over fourteen days. Essentially I worked from 0530-2300 for two weeks straight. Ugh.

But self care is important and I’ve had myself a massage, and a pedicure and dinner out.

But next new OR we have to open. I will be taking the quarter off of school.

Annual Education

How does your hospital deal with annual education that leads to the verification of you skills?

At my hospital, they do a massive education push with touch stone stations on a three day stretch where we practice the skills. Which is useful. Practice makes perfect.

But nursing isn’t perfect.

And neither is healthcare.

Nursing is doing the best care, at the best of your ability, at the top of your license so that the patient gets better, if possible. And if they can’t get better, the patient is kept as comfortable as possible until the end.

Is that too much to ask?

Whilst keeping everything sterile and clean as possible.

Because if you’ve contaminate the field at the outset, anything you then touch is contaminated, the germs don’t go away.

So, yes, it is useful to keep all the skills sharp, including sterile technique.

Which can’t be taught quickly, it’s has to become ingrained.


This is when a word can change the vernacular of a place and can be embraced by both shifts. And the second evening shift phrase. If you can call a single word a phrase.


People is perfect.

It is a safe for work swear word.

Like fuck it can be many things. A noun, an expletive, an adverb, and a verb.

It is useful when you want to swear but you can’t.

It can be used to express disdain, anger, disgust. PEOPLE

Don’t like what someone did. PEOPLE

Can’t believe that your boss is asking you to do that again. PEOPLE

Express too many reps/surgeons/tech/that strange hanger one. PEOPLE


You have to pop the ‘p’s though.

Evenings is Magic

Okay, enough of the gloom and doom and hatefulness that is my life the last month.

Evening shift sayings of the OR.

Oh, yes, this is a thing.

Did you know it is possible to add words to the common vernacular in an enclosed space?

Oh, yes, this is possible.

The first one I coined was after I noticed a uni knee tray in the basement on a table. I had just come on shift and I was pulling cases for the next day. I finished pulling all fifteen of the cases and went upstairs to find something else to do, because evening work is never done. And the manager, assistant manager, sterile processing manager, and day shift charge nurse were all in a tizzy. Multiple trays were open, the rep was pacing around, the assistant manager was on the phone. I casually asked what was up, as you do, feeling my way gently through the emotional crowd.

Elle, the assistant manager, snapped, “We’ve lost a tray, can’t find it, not in SPD, not on the shelf, it’s nowhere and it was will thousands of dollars to replace it.”

Me, wondering if it was the tray I’d seen plain as day on a table in the basement, “Which tray?”

Elle, “A medium uni tray.” She then went back to her conversation.

Me, nonchalantly taking the elevator downstairs and retrieving the tray from the table they would’ve had to pass umpteen times in the day during their franticness and hysteria. I brought it upstairs, handed it to Elle, and asked, “this one?”

You would’ve thought I had paraded naked in the core.

Elle grabbed it, “Yes!!! Where did you find it?”

Me, “On a table in the case makeup section, near the SPD door.”

Elle, clutching the tray to her bosom like a tragic heroine, “How did you find it?”

Me, shrugging, resisting telling them that they could have found it at any time, “Evenings is Magic.”

And, like that, the phrase was born.