I disappoint people every day.

It is different every time.

Sometimes it is the doctor who wants to impossible 2nd room.

Sometimes it is the staff member who wants to go home early.

Sometimes it is my boss who wants me to tell her that we are fully staffed.

Sometimes it is myself when I do something against my own code.

Sometimes I care.

But mostly I don’t.

When I disappoint someone who unreasonable about not getting their 2nd room, or to go home early, or someone who has to work later because we are not fully staffed, or that the new tech has to go into a room at 1700 when she tells me she’s never done that kind of case at our hospital, but has at other hospitals, and I tell her there is no choice, welcome to evening shift. When I disappoint any of the above, I tell myself that I’ve made a friend.

Of course I am being sarcastic.

They weren’t interested in being my friend, just wanted something I couldn’t give.

That’s how you make friends on the evening shift when suddenly our volume has ballooned to December levels, and it’s only October.

I’ve been at Magnet since Tuesday. It is Friday. I prepared to go to Magnet for a week. I will be recovering from being at Magnet for a week, running around doing all the things I didn’t do for 4 days. 

But, Magnet was worth it! 

Magnet is nurse engagement, it is nurse led, it is nurses teaching nurses, it is research studies, it is products that nurses make themselves that make their shift a little easier. At Magnet, we are all that nurse. The nurse who makes the department better, the nurse who works tirelessly so that the patients are well taken care of, the nurse who works with leadership to make changes to make the nurse’s lives and the patient’s lives better.

 Magnet is amazing.

Magnet is also tiring. I’m an evening shift nurse and I had to be up every day before 0600 in order to get my homework done and prep for the day. The time change helped. 

Magnet is also over. Sitting at the airport with my luggage because I’m ready to be home. 

For tomorrow is Saturday. The night of the Great 100 Gala. And I’m a great 100 nurse. It means that I am one of the top 100 nurses in NC. I’m over the moon about the honor.

But there is a lot of work to do between now and then. 

The last two workdays, the ones that I had off, were awesome. I so very rarely get a full day off between working 5 days a week and weekend call days and I got THREE FULL DAYS OFF IN A ROW. Excuse me if I’m a little excited. This meant no hospital, no call, no phone answering. Okay, I cheated, I answered texts but I did not answer the phone. I’m proud of myself.

But these last two days were a rehearsal for the six days I will have off soon for the Magnet conference. I will be out of state so I can’t take call. I know my relief will do brilliantly. After all, she just got two days practice being the evening charge nurse.

Almost time for the curtain to rise on the Magnet Conference, t-eight days until I leave.

I am an operating room nurse (to be seen as OR from here on out). I’ve been a nurse since 2001. I have been an OR nurse since 2002.

I always wanted to be an OR nurse. My mother is an OR nurse. So there is a proud tradition in our family of service. My father was in the Air Force and now he substitute teaches. I get it from both sides, apparently.

I have worked at 4 different hospitals: the small, rural California hospital where I learned my trade, the specialty orthopedic hospital, the main hospital attached to the ortho one, and a smallish suburban hospital. I currently work in the smallish suburban hospital. I’ve been here eight years, I think?

I may use big words, or acronyms, but I will try not to. Or, if I do, I will explain myself.

I will not spare the gore though, or the bloodshed, or the profanity.

Because the OR is a batshit crazy place to work. Full of sharp instruments, sharp voicesm verbal slaps, both mine and others.

And I would not work anywhere else.

Because this place, this is where we heal people.

Um, when I woke up this morning I was not intending on getting a website or relaunching my OR nursing blog on a new platform.

Oh, shit! What happened?

No, I was supposed and still am supposed to be doing statistics homework. Which I still have to do, by tomorrow night. Plenty of time, right?

My name is Kate DeVine. No, not really, but sometimes it behooves me to be anonymous. This will be a not safe for work blog, that means there will be graphic descriptions, and definitely be profanity. I mean, all the swears, so many fucking swears. And I will probably abuse people I work with. Names and details will be changed in order to comply with HIPAA. I will not name the town or corporation I work with. But the corporation will probably be abused too, if that makes you feel better.

I will be bringing over posts from my tumblr site of the same name. But I kind of tend to get lost on tumblr and that isn’t conducive to being prompt and timely with posts.

I’m also in graduate school and I’m hoping to use this blog as a way to blow off a little steam. I’m going to post Sundays and Fridays to start.

Shall we begin? Here’s hoping this goes well.