And the hammer drops

The hammer has dropped.

I am now officially only a call nurse.

This fall has been a time of thinking about this.

And overthinking about it.

But the existence of a call nurse meant that my very comfortable role as a workaholic was steady.

You need me to pick up call?

You’ve got it.

Someone called in sick and you need coverage?

You’ve got it.

Oh, shared governance is struggling and needs an experienced person at the helm?

You’ve got it.

I have been a yes woman for a long time.

And it has been lucrative.

I’ve earned lots of money.

And many, many hours have been worked.

Many hours.

Now those call hours would be disappearing to someone else.

Call is my favorite.

Over the summer, I began wondering if I was doing a disservice to the department.

You give a man a fish and he eats for one day, et cetera, et cetera.

I don’t want to have an entire department dependent on me.

And changes made by leadership were chafing.

And my role in the department was beginning to be taken for granted.

I was not allowed to complain.

And my complaints, when I felt strongly enough to speak up, went unheeded.

But others could complain about me.

Nitpicky shit about well that person got out early yesterday too. No I don’t want to leave early, I just want to complain.

Or I was on the computer when I arrived, again, no matter that I had just been in their room and nothing was needed.

You’ve got lots of time after the schedule is over to work on the computer.

Do I though?

And I would have to have a conversation with management about being aware of millennials tender, purple feelings and I needed to find a better way to tell them to do their job.

Crap like that.

There needed to be a change.

I am on the precipice of my new life.

Terrified.

Staring at the entire mountain of things I have let slide while I was at work.

Because that was what my mind was telling me was the priority.

Can I be a reformed workaholic?

Is that a thing?

Or will I just replace my workaholic shifts with other things?

Let’s get started.