The discussion part 1

Vacation where I should have gone to AORN is over.

I am headed back to the hospital today.

Before I went on vacation I demurred a discussion that the assistant nurse manager wanted to have with me and the day shift charge nurse, the day shift lead, and the manager.

I was in not in a good mental head space for THAT conversation.

I have some predictions.

“You’re a great nurse but..” will be the lead in.

An echo for you’re a great nurse but will be had.

I have been thinking about what I want to say.

That I think that an overlap of charge is ludicrous for 2 hours.

That I think it is enraging that someone who is new to charge should have say over how I run the board for 2 hours.

That I think this whole endeavor is insulting.

That the one of the only reasons I stay is the commitments I have made.

Not to the department.

To the hospital system.

That I am not quite ready to leave.

That I need to complain more.

Because I know very well that the day shift charge is complaining about me.

About how I will not go in the direction that she has planned.

That I want to make my own staff assignments for after 1700.

After all.

How dare I?

That is what has been swirling through my head all through my staycation.

Now.

How to put these feelings into words that does not degrade into screaming?

Or crying, which I am prone to.

We’ll see.

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