Hello, and welcome to call at (hospital)

I’ve been threatening to write my welcome to call at my hospital letter a long time.

I was persuaded against it by my boss and possible call changes coming.

So I desisted.

But recent tom-foolery around call has prompted me to start the letter anew.

In a fit of pique, I finished the letter.

The next day I read it again, to make sure that my anger and disgust didn’t come across on the page.

Good, it didn’t.

In the letter, to be given to new doctors and PAs, as well as existing ones.

I lay out explicitly things the department wants people to know.

1. the hours of operation
2. the hours of call
3. the phone numbers
4. some helpful hints about calling in the call team, such as there is a 30 minute response time, and then the create the case, pick the case, get the patient, prep the patient before the case even starts time
5. the fact that #4 may take upwards and beyond an hour
6. the fact that if their case is in need of a set that doesn’t live at the hospital the wait time for preparing instruments that are brought in from the outside
7. The fact that #5 may take 3-4 hours from the time the set hits the sterile processing department

My boss read the letter and agreed to give it out at the surgical committee meeting in July.

I told my boss I wanted it given to any new MD as well.

I told my boss I also wanted it laminated and placed at all the nursing stations.

To quote Miracle Max and Valerie from the Princess Bride:

Valerie, “Think it’ll work?”

Miracle Max, “It’ll take a miracle.”