Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, dear covid. Happy Birthday to you!
It’s your third birthday, covid! How do you want to celebrate?
If you could celebrate gathering your things, you know, your variants, and get the hell out of town, that would be great! Thanks!
You have WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY, WAY overstayed your welcome.
There, there. I know some people don’t even think you exist. Who think they know more than scientists who have been studying infectious diseases like you for years. What was that? Oh, they read an article. That their friend who also doesn’t believe in you sent to them. Along with a little computer virus, you scamp.
The CDC believes you exist. In fact, it was 3 years ago tomorrow that they declared you a public health emergency.
Please go away, and take your little dog, M-Pox with you.
Yes, I am well aware that those viruses are completely different and don’t even belong to the same classification. Yes, but have you heard of artistic license?
And the US is going to drop end the covid emergency on May 11.
Only one million, one hundred thousand, eight hundred seventy-two Americans have died. Not that the number we are have been getting for months is complete, since states started changing their report dates.
Even the WHO said today that you remain a threat but that the world is at an inflection point.
What is that?
You know, you can either keep going away. Or get super bad again. I know which one I would choose.
Please leave and don’t let the door hit you in the spike protein on the way out.
Dispatches from the Evening Shift 