Monday Musings- 2-28-22-new shift round-up/Give myself a break

Another month almost gone.

In 6 hours it will be March.

New shift round-up.

Thursday will be 12 weeks since this new shift started.

I can’t say that I am bored.

I will say that I have done so much reading.

Way less organizing than I expected.

But why did I expect anything?

It is not like I’ve been a working nurse during a two year pandemic?

With the exception of staycations (three weeks in total)I have always been at the hospital.

When the elective cases were all cancelled in the beginning, in March and April of 2022, I was at the hospital for my regular shift.

When the cases that came until testing were not tested, I was at the hospital for my regular shift.

When the elective cases resumed with testing, if there was time, I was at the hospital for my regular shift.

When the cases came without time for testing, I was at the hospital for my regular shift and circulating those cases.

When the cases came in the middle of the night without time for testing, I was at the hospital for my call shift and circulated those cases.

When coworkers all were laid ill with Covid in succession, I was at the hospital for my regular shift.

When we coded a patient, twice in thirty minutes, in the middle of the night, I was at the hospital at 1430 for my regular shift.

I went to California on a medical mission of mercy to visit my ailing father in the ICU I went from the hotel to the hospital.

I’ve seen some shit.

All healthcare workers have.

Why, then, do we question when we have a break?

When the call shift opened up I jumped at it.

Not because I did not enjoy my job.

Not because I did not enjoy my coworkers.

But because I, like all of my healthcare coworkers, am tired.

Yeah, I earn less.

But I have not worked so little in my entire working life.

But I don’t take call like it is going out of style.

And that is enough.

There had to be a change.

I was working as fast as I could.

Not because I needed the money.

But because I enjoy working so much.

It is hard to be a recovering workaholic.

It is also hard to organize when I am still so burnt out from the pandemic.

And now there is war in Ukraine.

Excuse me while I doom scroll that.

Instead of Covid.

And worry that this means I will not get to London in August after all.

I’m trying.

To organize my life which has gone unorganized for years because of being at the hospital for my normal shift.

To relax and re-learn that I don’t have to be a workaholic.

I still like work though.

I’m just switching gears a bit.

Sleeping more.

Because I’ve never had a problem sleeping on call.

Writing more.

Because I honestly love it.

Reading more.

Because I’m a reader, always have been.

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