24-FINE

News flash women are not fine. We haven’t been for a long time. But we just shove whatever we are feeling under the rug and promise to get to it later. News flash, later never comes.

When I had just graduated from middle school, in 1989, Aerosmith put out a record Pumped with the song F.I.N.E. as the second track. To Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, FINE stood for fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. The song doesn’t reference fine, but the liner notes mentioned that it stood for Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. He was referring to himself.

By the time I was in high school, someone, probably teenage boys, had taken those initials and decided it was about women. With that, they branded all women Fucked up, Insecure, Needy, and Emotional. Teenage girls and women are none of those things. It does not escape my attention that all of these are adjectives that they want to use to tar and feather us, to make women, no matter the way she got that way, feel lesser.

But they didn’t care and they made that acronym the center of all their interactions with women.

It is time to take back the acronym, especially in light of how some men and some boys reacted to the election, by becoming grosser. I didn’t think that was possible.

Women are under real threat in the next four years. I don’t want to start down that slippery slope that the Dobbs decision put us on.

Instead of Fucked Up, women need to be Fired Up.

Instead of Insecure, women need to be Incensed. Irate is also a word choice for the I.

Instead of neurotic, women are Not Having It. This means we are done with coddling men and doing all the things. It is time we women demand equal participation of men in the domestic life. They are not “babysitting” their own children, they are being a dad. They are not “helping” around the house, they are participating in the running of the household. This should be the bare minimum of the ask.

Instead of Emotional, women are Equal. We should start acting like it.

There you have it. F.I.N.E. rewritten for the world of 2024.

Tuesday Top of Mind 11/5/24- your vote is private

Over the last two weeks, I have heard many, many, many, many, many attacks on women. Men are interested in how learning a woman, any woman, THEIR woman voted.

Ladies and gentlemen, you don’t owe anyone an answer to this.

It is none of their business HOW you voted.

It is none of their business IF you voted. Although, I wish you would.

Some men even equated not voting in lockstep with their vote to cheating. Cough, cough, jesse watters.

Um.

Take several steps back, sir.

In fact, check yourself. I realize that you think having an outie sex organ entitles you to all the things. But it doesn’t.

A woman in her EIGHTIES voted for the first time because her husband, who had decreed that it is not important that she vote, died last year.

There are so many stories about men and others but mostly men, putting pressure on women to vote the way that the man does. Or even stopping women from voting. Where do you think you live, sir? Iran or Afghanistan. The woman’s right to vote is enshrined in the 19th Amendment and we will not be denied.

Of course, there is a lot of chatter “joking” that the 19th Amendment has to be repealed. Yeah, I’ve seen your jokes. There is always a kernel or even a whole ear of corn of truth.

You and what army?

There are stories of breakups over a woman not telling a man who they voted for. Of men looming over their partners in the voting area in an intimidating manner. BTW, this is not allowed. Men who gave their wives the silent treatment because the wives dared to 1) vote and 2) not to tell them how they voted.

If I was confronted and someone demanded I tell them how I voted, I would tell the truth. I voted straight blue ticket. Yes, all of them, even the ballots that don’t have party affiliations on them. I can research and read up on the people I am voting for before I go to the early voting site.

But not all women are like me. And that’s okay.

This is your permission slip to lie. This isn’t something I would do, but you have to live your life.

No one has the right to know who you voted for.

Tuesday Top of Mind 10/29/24- 50 years ago today, women could open credit cards and own a house

I knew this was the year when the world of credit opened up to women. But I had no idea that today, October 29, 1973, was the day.

I don’t think you understand exactly what that means.

We, as women, have been clawing our way out of the shadows for a very long time. Or should I say from under a man’s thumb for a very long time.

I like the thumb metaphor better than shadows.

I know, I know. I’ve written about it before. But it is important to acknowledge that it has only been FIFTY years here in the US that a woman has been allowed to sign for a mortgage or a credit card.

Oh, wait, I forgot the qualifier.

It has only been FIFTY years that a woman has been allowed to sign for a mortgage or a credit card WITHOUT A MAN.

That’s better and a more complete sentence.

I had a conversation with a guy this weekend and he was shocked when I was mad when he said that men make sure that society runs smoothly.

After my brain stopped smoking from the rage, I asked what he meant.

He said that it was the men who made sure the rules were followed.

After I was able to unfist my hands, I reminded him that men had had control of the reins of power since time immemorial, especially in this country, and that women were, in fact, police officers who enforced the laws. And there were women in the government who made sure these “rules” were enacted. Not as many as there should be considering we are more than half of the population, but women have to start somewhere.

We left the conversation there and I left the place where we had had this conversation.

It was either that or haul off and punch him. Yes, punch. With a closed-finger fist.

What I wish I’d said, “Well, Chris, maybe if we hadn’t only had real power and real representation in the US Congress, or on the Supreme Court before the last 45 years, women might’ve had a chance to do something about the gross interference of men.”

To which he’d reply, “Women could never.”

And I would say, “Well, if men would get out of our way we could.” And I would watch him turn red and bluster and walk away.

Now, that would be satisfying.

But, yay, for us women who’ve had the ability to take on debt, in our own name, for 50 years today.

Let’s get to work on the rest of it.

First thing to do is vote in this year’s general election.

Especially after that blatant dog whistle of a rally at Madison Square Garden on Sunday, 10/27/24.

The last thing I will write is that a person for the campaign noted after all the gross “joke” about Puerto Rico that the people didn’t seem to mind.

No, of course not, Jan. They wouldn’t.

Tuesday Top of Mind 9/24/24-They don’t care about anything but control and money… do you?

I realize that not everyone is as informed about the news as I am.

I realize that everyone doesn’t have the same reaction to the news that I do.

I realize that the reason for this is because some people just don’t care.

They don’t care that over half of Americans are being told that we are worth only what our uterus can produce. AKA the tax revenue that can be brought in by the potential uterine output.

They don’t care that women are dying.

They don’t care that babies are being tortured into existence where they will live their short lives in agony.

They don’t care that medical professionals, those who have gone to school for at LEAST 20 years, and those who don’t want to torture women or the cells that will become the baby, are leaving the red states in droves.

They don’t care that the patients who are left behind who cannot/will not move, are in what we term as an OB desert. This means that the number of doctors who stay in the red states is not enough to care for the women of the state.

They don’t care that women over 50 are still of childbearing age. Instead, they find it easier to mock them and ask why they care about the bodily autonomy of those who can still have children. Never mind that women over 50 can still bear children and never mind their daughters and granddaughters are impacted by the abortion can she or can’t she shell game they have going on.

They don’t care that anyone can be a signatory to an abortion amendments petition without the police/sheriff showing up at their house and interrogating them about it.

All these things they don’t care about. All of these things have been in the news in the last five days.

What do they care about?

It isn’t the unborn. It is money; It is the control of women.

What are they afraid of? Women.

Vote in November like your bodily autonomy depends on it.

Or someone you love.

Tuesday Top of Mind 7/23/24- It’s the pay parity, stupid!

This was not the Tuesday Top of Mind that I was going to write. And then I saw a report that male nurses make more than female nurses.

Yeah. Women are STILL making less money than men. Even in healthcare. A report from July 11, based on the 2024 Nurse Salary and Work-Life Report from Nurse.com, shows that male nurses make approximately $6,000 more per year than female nurses.

I’ll let that sink in.

Women have been banging on the glass ceiling of the gender pay gap for over 60 years. Well, forever actually, but there was the Equal Pay Act of 1967.

The latest 2022 numbers were that women earn 82% of what men earn.

I’ve heard all the “reasons” men need to make more. The men have families. News flash, so do women. The X job is more dangerous so OF COURSE we have to pay men more. Because they are willing to do the dangerous jobs.

Give me a break!

A bigger news flash you can see from outer space- Healthcare work is dangerous!

Why should a man make more than me because he has an extra appendage? Do I not bleed for the hospital too? On an almost daily basis?

Women don’t negotiate is another reason given. Bitch, women have been negotiating. The point is that men in the C-suite aren’t listening or are gaslighting women into accepting less.

Women take time off to have children. This is true. But what about those of us who don’t have children? Or the ones who have to rush back to work because no structure allows them to take time off for their newborn? Like, I don’t know, guaranteed maternity leave?

Men just need it more for their families. Again, says who?

According to the article, the recommendations for the pay gap are education, discussions, regular audits, and meetings. Also mentioned is promoting career growth for female nurses.

Sigh.

Same verse.

But, Kate, at least it has improved since 2002. Yeah, in 2002, it was 80%. In 22 years the gap has shrunk by 2%.

Oh, boy. I’ll take that in small bills.

Granted, the gender pay gap started at 40% in 1960. 40% in 60 years is tremendous.

But it is not enough.