24- 50 years ago today, women could open credit cards and own a house

I knew this was the year when the world of credit opened up to women. But I had no idea that today, October 29, 1973, was the day.

I don’t think you understand exactly what that means.

We, as women, have been clawing our way out of the shadows for a very long time. Or should I say from under a man’s thumb for a very long time.

I like the thumb metaphor better than shadows.

I know, I know. I’ve written about it before. But it is important to acknowledge that it has only been FIFTY years here in the US that a woman has been allowed to sign for a mortgage or a credit card.

Oh, wait, I forgot the qualifier.

It has only been FIFTY years that a woman has been allowed to sign for a mortgage or a credit card WITHOUT A MAN.

That’s better and a more complete sentence.

I had a conversation with a guy this weekend and he was shocked when I was mad when he said that men make sure that society runs smoothly.

After my brain stopped smoking from the rage, I asked what he meant.

He said that it was the men who made sure the rules were followed.

After I was able to unfist my hands, I reminded him that men had had control of the reins of power since time immemorial, especially in this country, and that women were, in fact, police officers who enforced the laws. And there were women in the government who made sure these “rules” were enacted. Not as many as there should be considering we are more than half of the population, but women have to start somewhere.

We left the conversation there and I left the place where we had had this conversation.

It was either that or haul off and punch him. Yes, punch. With a closed-finger fist.

What I wish I’d said, “Well, Chris, maybe if we hadn’t only had real power and real representation in the US Congress, or on the Supreme Court before the last 45 years, women might’ve had a chance to do something about the gross interference of men.”

To which he’d reply, “Women could never.”

And I would say, “Well, if men would get out of our way we could.” And I would watch him turn red and bluster and walk away.

Now, that would be satisfying.

But, yay, for us women who’ve had the ability to take on debt, in our own name, for 50 years today.

Let’s get to work on the rest of it.

First thing to do is vote in this year’s general election.

Especially after that blatant dog whistle of a rally at Madison Square Garden on Sunday, 10/27/24.

The last thing I will write is that a person for the campaign noted after all the gross “joke” about Puerto Rico that the people didn’t seem to mind.

No, of course not, Jan. They wouldn’t.

Tuesday Top of Mind 10/8/24- explicative deleted the supreme court

Me again.

Back on abortion news that is so hot it would burn if I had any fingertips left.

Yesterday, the supreme court declined to hear a case from the BIDEN administration about the draconian abortion law in Texas. The state was using that law to say, nah bro, even if a patient is on the verge of dying, emergency rooms don’t have to do an abortion. And they send the woman HOME.

In other words, in starker words, let the woman die instead of performing an abortion, which is the evidence-based standard of care for miscarriage. The problem is that the fetus isn’t dead YET, or at least their cardiac poles are working, and the woman isn’t sick enough YET.

Let the woman die.

Because the output of her uterus has a stronger case in front of the current supreme court than her right to life.

You know, the right to life is in the constitution’s preamble.

But, sure, why not deny a woman her rights?

After all, she is a lesser being than the clump of cells in her uterus.

They had punted a similar EMTALA case in June of this year. Do you remember?

EMTALA is a federal law that means everyone who presents to the emergency room gets the treatment they need. No matter what it is.

Ringing a bell now?

The thing is the Biden administration was asking to send the fifth circuit appeals court ruling on EMTALA and Texas back to a lower court to be retried.

The supreme court said nah.

I am not sure who is paying attention if anyone. There are a lot of other things commanding our attention: the 2024 general election, the devastating loss of life and property over 6 states after Hurricane Helene, the category 5 Hurricane Milton that is bearing down on almost the exact spot where Hurrican Helene hit Florida, the Russian bots that are trolling the news sites and giving out lies. I won’t even talk about their most current lie about FEMA money but it is certainly a lie.

Misdirection is the standard for all magic tricks.

I wonder what else they are doing when we aren’t paying attention.

To be clear, the they isn’t just the supreme court, but news media, and the aforementioned troll bots that are desperate to make you believe lies.

I am tired of being told that my life doesn’t matter, that what I want doesn’t matter by these clowns.

I am definitely tired of being reminded over and over and over and over and over again that because I am a woman my life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness matter less than the potential output of my uterus.

Don’t get me started on the fact that my husband and I do not have children. Which also makes us lesser.

Tuesday Top of Mind 10/1/24- Blame the victim… of course

They are weaponizing abortion bans against victims. Blame the victim is the name of their game and it has never been clearer. In their minds and out of their mouths comes language that says that if a woman hadn’t had sex and sought a medication abortion and had a rare complication and sought care from the state in which they live and was denied actual medical care for a true medical emergency and they shun her and turn her away from the emergency room and she dies it is her fault.

Did you get all that?

It is like holding someone’s arm and using your muscles to slap their face, telling them all the while “Stop hitting yourself”. In no way are they hitting themselves. You are. And blaming them for it.

Because she wasn’t a “good girl” and had sex.

After all, the vagina is the root of all evils. Right?

Twas Eve who ate the apple from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden.

Twas Eve who tempted Adam to eat the apple.

Twas Eve who got them banished from the Garden of Eden.

Because blame the woman, right?

Some people believe that their holy book forbids abortion. Without actually coming out and saying it. Because abortion is not mentioned in the Bible. Neither the old testament nor the new testament. Not in the Jewish version.

Same thing for birth control. Nowhere is it mentioned that it is banned.

But some people believe it because their god said so. No, no, they say when you point this out. But I know that it is something that he doesn’t want. No, no, not his son when you point this out that their behavior isn’t exactly Christ-like. Not his son. I just don’t want god to be mad at me for a reason I made up in my head.

Do you know what is also not banned? In-vitro Fertilization.

I don’t normally write about essentially the same thing for Tuesday Top of Mind two weeks in a row.

But they need to get over themselves.

Because they are killing women and the potential children they profess to want born. Without any medical support or financial support or legislative support.

No, they want fully-aged people who can work and pay taxes. Because infants and children are messy and demanding. And they don’t have the patience. But they want the money.

And the control.

but mostly the money.

How to delicately say things to patients and to not give away too much information

How, and what, to say hard things to patients should be a graduate-level class. You know the things I mean.

There is potentially life-altering information that you have that you may be asked point blank your opinion of.

Knowing what is a conversation that should be at a doctor or surgeon level AND also knowing how to get out of giving too much information without the proper context and freaking out the patient would be the final exam.

Practice the following “The specimen for the surgical case is in the lab for testing. Dr. X will know more. They are speaking to your family right now.” Or there is always the cop-out “Dr. Y will be in to speak with you shortly.”

No one likes the second one, not the patient, not the family member, not the surgeon. Not even me when I give that line. Because the patient or the family member knows that I know something and I AM NOT TELLING! And I know that I can’t tell because I give the proper context to tell anything.

Last week I had a patient ask me directly how the surgery had gone when they were in the recovery room. I was not about to give any details that were better off coming from the surgeon. Instead I leaned forward and said earnestly, “We were glad that you decided to seek care today.” They closed their eyes and nodded, content with the explanation.

We were, the surgery would have been much harder if the patient had waited, suffering at home. Instead they decided to come in and seek care. If they had waited, the outcome might not have been favorable.

Sometimes I do pass on information during the intra-operative phone call that we make to inform the family how things are progressing. However I always ask what the surgeon wants me to tell the family.

Saying the wrong thing can absolutely be bad. The family, who is not medical, can take things out of context or misunderstand what is being said. This can lead to repurcussions when the surgeon is yelled at by the family, or goes to the waiting room to find ALL the family, all crying, when the message was interpreted incorrectly.

It is best to be simple with explanations of the surgical kind, or, really, the medical kind. You have training to understand the words and the context. The patient and the family does not.