How to delicately say things to patients and to not give away too much information

How, and what, to say hard things to patients should be a graduate-level class. You know the things I mean.

There is potentially life-altering information that you have that you may be asked point blank your opinion of.

Knowing what is a conversation that should be at a doctor or surgeon level AND also knowing how to get out of giving too much information without the proper context and freaking out the patient would be the final exam.

Practice the following “The specimen for the surgical case is in the lab for testing. Dr. X will know more. They are speaking to your family right now.” Or there is always the cop-out “Dr. Y will be in to speak with you shortly.”

No one likes the second one, not the patient, not the family member, not the surgeon. Not even me when I give that line. Because the patient or the family member knows that I know something and I AM NOT TELLING! And I know that I can’t tell because I give the proper context to tell anything.

Last week I had a patient ask me directly how the surgery had gone when they were in the recovery room. I was not about to give any details that were better off coming from the surgeon. Instead I leaned forward and said earnestly, “We were glad that you decided to seek care today.” They closed their eyes and nodded, content with the explanation.

We were, the surgery would have been much harder if the patient had waited, suffering at home. Instead they decided to come in and seek care. If they had waited, the outcome might not have been favorable.

Sometimes I do pass on information during the intra-operative phone call that we make to inform the family how things are progressing. However I always ask what the surgeon wants me to tell the family.

Saying the wrong thing can absolutely be bad. The family, who is not medical, can take things out of context or misunderstand what is being said. This can lead to repurcussions when the surgeon is yelled at by the family, or goes to the waiting room to find ALL the family, all crying, when the message was interpreted incorrectly.

It is best to be simple with explanations of the surgical kind, or, really, the medical kind. You have training to understand the words and the context. The patient and the family does not.